*All group members contributed to this blog*
In society choosing identity can be difficult. The way you behave around certain people may not be the way you behave around all people. As humans we feel the need to fit into a group so in order to fit in sometimes we alter ourselves. Avril Lavigne’s song “Complicated” is about people who identity themselves different when around certain types of people. Sometimes people just want to fit in and aren’t necessarily being true to themselves. The lyrics in the song, “Complicated” discuss three main ideas: identity, self-presentation, and facework. According to Close Encounters by Laura K. Guerrero, Peter A. Andersen, Walid A. Afifi, “Identity is a theory of self that is formed and maintained through actual or imagined interpersonal agreement about what self is like (Schlenker, 1985, p.67).” Self-presentation is the way we present ourselves and the way others see us. Close Encounters states that “…self-presentation reflect[s] the things we do to portray a particular image of self to others.” We often alter ourselves depending on our environment and our audience. For example, at a school basketball game you might be screaming and cheering, but then in the classroom you are quiet and respectful of your professor when they are speaking.
“You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you're something else
Where you are and
Where you sat, you see
You're making me
Laugh out
When you strike a pose
Take off all your preppy clothes
You know
You're not fooling anyone
When you become”
The lyrics, “You come over unannounced/dressed up like you’re something else” demonstrate that her friend his putting on act, a different front stage to fit in. “The front stage is where our performances are enacted, our behaviors are observed by an audience, and where impression management is particularly important” (Close Encounters, pg. 33). When the friend is being true to whom they are that is called back state. “Conversely, the backstage is where we can let our guard down and do not have to think about staying in characters” (Close Encounters, pg. 33).
The lyrics, “When you strike a pose/Take off all your preppy clothes/you know your not fooling anyone tell us that the friend has even changed their appearance in order to fit in. “Preppy” is the new appearance, according to the song. The person who has changed their character and appearance to fit in has altered themselves so much they are a completely different person. According to the lyrics, that person doesn’t usual dress in “preppy” clothing or “poses” in way that you would conclude that they are so-called “preppy”.
David Hesmondhalgh is an author of communication studies as well as a professor at the
“Somebody else 'round everyone else
Watching your back, like you can't relax
Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you
turn it into honesty
you promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
Most people have many different personalities, they are studious and well-behaved at school, and around friends they are more outgoing and rebellious. Avril Lavigne addresses the topic of self presentation. People change who they are depending on the people they are with. A professor at work will dress nicely and put together, while at home maybe they’ll show off their true identity by wearing sweatpants and baseball caps. They can’t wear this to work, it isn’t appropriate and doesn’t send off the message that they are scholars and know what they are talking about. They need to mask their true identity for the time being and act the way society believes they should be.
Avril Lavigne may be saying that this person is fake, but society has put pressure on people to be “normal” and “cool”, and maybe the person she is singing about thinks society won’t accept them if they be who they truly are. “Self-monitoring is the extent to which people regulate their behavior to fit the social context” (Close Encounters 52). Almost every person in the world does this to some extent. When speaking to a teacher your am not going to talk to him or her the way you talk to one of your friends, it is not appropriate to swear in front of a teacher, therefore you need to monitor what your saying. There are high-monitor situations like the example of talking to a teacher, client or boss, and then there are low-monitor situations when talking to friends and other people your age. This is definitely what the person is doing that Avril Lavigne is singing about. They have to be more aware of what they are saying in front of people who don’t think it is socially acceptable to do or say certain things; while Lavigne accepts this person for who they are she can see their true identity.
Identity is the state or fact of remaining the same one or ones, as under varying aspects or conditions. However, many times we do not stay true to our true identity. We surround ourselves with people that influence us in bad ways and with people who cause us to stray from what our true beliefs are. When you begin to act like the people you hang out with you are actually creating a new identity for yourself. This new identity covers your old. Your identity says a lot about who you are because you surround your time with people who share in your same identity and beliefs. Avril Lavigne‘s song “Complicated” outlines people’s changing identity and personality around different people in its lyrics. The song uses the words “Somebody else round everyone else” to describe the girl’s boyfriend’s changing identities around his different friend groups. She describes the boy to be paranoid and not able to relax. This is because the boy is constantly stressed and paranoid about having to be a different person around various groups of people. The constant change in his identity and the lying catch up with the person and cause him or her to be stressed. The song then ends up returning to the girl’s pint of view on why did have to make things so complicated and how acting like this gets her very frustrated. I often see this identity change around my friends. They act differently around boys, their family, the sport’s teams, and the so called poplar group. It is very frustrating and hard to understand why someone would have to act a certain way just to please everyone. The article “towards a critical understanding of music, emotion, and self- identity” by David Hesondhalgh reports that the type of music you listen to reflects one’s identity. This is very true because people meet friends and develop relationships with people based on what kind of music they listen to. ‘Music, then, represents a remarkable meeting point of the private and public realms.”
“Chill out,
What you yellin' for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could let it be
You will see
Somebody else
'Round everyone else
You're watchin' your back
Like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool
You look like a fool
To me, to me”
Avril Lavigne’s song, “It’s Complicated” is a reflection of every person’s personality. I think this song is trying to refer that people’s identity is always shaped by their surroundings, changing their attitudes according to what each person think other people would like or accept. As she said in the lyrics, an example is when she mentioned that the person she’s dedicating the song is trying to be cool, while instead of that it’s looking like a fool to her. Accordingly with what I understood with the lyrics, I think Avril Lavigne doesn’t agree with the theory of changing personality according to the spot we are located; but honestly, the changing is innate, is a natural process that occurs every second, and no one can control it. It just happens, wherever we are, with whomever and whenever. Its not a deal that we plan to do, it’s just the way it is. Our self automatically adapts itself to the moment we are, sometimes more boldly than others, but it always occurs. In the article “Towards a critical understanding of music, emotion and self-identity” by David Hesmondhalgh said that sees music primarily as a positive resource for active self-making. Personally, that might mean to Avril Lavigne that the best way to guide the people to stop changing and pretending to be someone else is expressing it throughout her songs.
It’s not that I approve that people pretend to be someone else; but I believe that we engage different roles according to the situation that we are into. It’s normal to act differently according to where we are: in a job interview, hanging out with friends, in a school presentation, with the family… we always have a different attitude. The purpose of our self is not to take other person’s role, because we already have too many personalities; the importance is to know how to manage ourselves.
“Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're
Acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this, you
And you fall and you crawl
And you break and you take
What you get and you turn it into
Honesty Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it”
Identities differentiate everyone by personality traits and personal characteristics. It is a term that can be used loosely because it of its various definitions and complexities. “The context of our identities includes relationships, roles, goals, personal qualities, accomplishments, group/cultural membership and appearance. (p.25 Close Encounters) Although the question of identity attempts to answer the “who I am?” question it clear that it is up the individual to pursue identities that suit him/ her. Our Self-presentation is one of the qualities that play a role in developing our identities. How we present ourselves in particular situation reflects how we seem to others.
For example the relationship between music and identity has proven to create social groups and followings. Music has the potential to evoke certain feelings because the audience believes that artist shares similar feelings. In Avril Lavigne’s song “Complicated” she stresses the question of “Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?” I think she is trying communicate to someone that it is better to be yourself. That life has a series of events and “faking it” is only going to create bad situations. The only thing she wants is for the other person to be honest with her about who they are all the time. Although society forces you to play different roles, the other person doesn’t have to do it around her.
The song is relevant in every context, if one is true to their beliefs and identity then they will easily avoid making any situation complicated. If you act the same in person and relay that to the digital world then people will be able to get a sense of who you really are all the time.
In the article “Towards a critical understanding of music, emotion and Self-identity” by David Hesmondhalgh he states that “Music represents a remarkable meeting point of the private and public realms, providing encounters of self-identity (things is who I am; this is who I’m not) with collective identity (this is who we are; this is who we are not) (Hesmondhalh p.329) This means that music can produce and following that people can identify with, and allow them to let their guard down with alike people.
Guerrero, Laura K. Close encounters communication in relationships.
Hesmondhalgh, David. ""Towards a critical understanding of music, emotion, and self-identity." Consumption Markets & Culture (2008): 329-42. Print.
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